Dream -again

Since my last post about the dream I had, I hadn't had another one of that same kind again. Perhaps writing it down helps to get it out of my system and allow me to move on?

Anyway I had another weird dream last night. I think I was with my family on a holiday and it was the last night (because we were packing our stuff from our hotel room), for some reason someone said something that annoyed me and I went off in a huff. The next morning I woke up hearing voices outside my room, and I saw my family already up and sitting around the table and I must have heard my name being mentioned. The feeling in my dream was that they were talking about try not to say things to make me angry, and that, for some reason, annoyed me even more. So when they noticed me come sit at the table I was silent and I acted as if I was still angry from last night (which I probably was). They were eating some expensive grapes (which we all loved eating) and they offered me some (all being very aware that I was angry and trying to be nice to me). I pushed the grapes away onto the floor, the ones that remain on the table I grabbed and squashed them with my palms or threw them onto the floor with as much force as I had. The thoughts that went through my head were kind of mixed. I felt it was a waste, and perhaps felt sorry that they (and I) won't be able to eat those grapes. I was well aware that they just watched and didn't protest or get angry. I was perhaps angry at myself that I couldn't hold on to my anger last night and at this moment. I was angry that they decided to let me do as I please even though I shouldn't have overreacted. I was frustrated. I think I felt like I had to carry on with the act, the dream went on for a bit longer with me being annoyed at everything and everyone, and I woke up feeling the frustration and anger.

In real life this wouldn't happen. I do like to throw things and destroy things when I'm angry but I tend to do that with only my stuff and normally when I'm alone. My family would probably speak up and there will be arguments rather than them silently letting me releasing my anger on them. But perhaps this dream is telling me not to be angry over small things, just let it go. Living at home can be quite difficult (stressful with all the rules?), I don't like to be restricted and sometimes tension build up. Maybe this frustration was released into this dream...

Quote of the day #8

"Sometimes you can see things happen right in front of your eyes and still jump to the wrong conclusions."

~Jodi Picoult 'Keeping Faith'

Quote of the day #7

"The worst thing about endings is knowing that just ahead is the daunting task of starting over."

~Jodi Picoult 'Keeping Faith'

Quote of the day #6

"Nothing stays forgotten for long, Elly. Sometimes we simply have to remind the world that we're special and that we're still here."

---

'Do you believe in God, Arthur?' I said, eating the last piece of sponge.
'Do I believe in an old man in the clouds with a white beard judging us mortals with a moral code from one to ten? Good Lord no, my sweet Elly, I do not! I would have been cast out from this life years ago with my tatty history. Do I believe in a mystery; the unexplained phenomenon that is life itself? The greater something that illuminates inconsequence in our lives; that gives us something to strive for as well as the humility to brush ourselves down and start all over again? Then yes, I do. It is the source of art, of beauty, of love, and proffers the ultimate goodness to mankind. That to me is God. That to me is life. That is what I believe in.'

---

~ Sarah Winman 'When God was a Rabbit'