I am scared of talking to you. I don't know what to say, how to explain why I did this, because there's nothing that can explain this. I was this close to spending the rest of my life with you, just that little left before I start that life we talked about, all it took was a little courage.
But even after so long, after going through so much, I still hesitated, I was still uncertain. I was brave one minute whn you've encouraged me and made me believe in it, but I'd lose that bravery and certainty in the next.
I guess if you really need a reason, it's because i never really believed in this whole thing, I never really wanted it, but I wanted to believe it, I wanted to want it. I wantd it because you wanted it.
I'm not that girl you fell in love with, that brave independent girl who knows what she wants in her life and has the courage to fight for it, she probably never existed. I'm just a lost girl with no particular goal and no drive or enthusiasm to make anything happen. I don't have a clue what I want in life, I thought I did, I thought I wanted all those things you wanted, with you.
The truth is i don't think I love you, at least not enough...
We've been together for so long I must have had some feelings for you. But truth is I'm not head over heels in love. You are right, I'm okay with breaking your heart than to hurt my family(actually it probably doesn't even hurt them). Thats my priority at this point in time. I am sorry for hurting you, so many times, and for breaking promises, lying, for being weak, for making you feel worthless, for not having the guts to even email you back to say I was sorry. You should know though, You are NOT worthless, you loved me with all your heart and I felt it.
You askd me lots of times why I loved you and I could never really answer, strangely enough I could now- you are a family person, you care about them and you love them, you are a great friend, you know what you want for yourself and you are not afraid to reach for it, like you know you want to spend your life with me and you did everything you can to make it happen, you made me feel special, like I was the only one, you never lied to me so I always knew I could trust you. You deserve to be with someone who loves you back the same amount, who would do anything for you like you would for her.
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
加藤ミリヤ - 20-CRY- (Lyrics)
加藤ミリヤ - 20-CRY-
作詩：Miliyah 作曲：Miliyah
人混みの中ひとりきり「寂しい」と呟く
誰も気付かない 誰も気にしない 誰もいない
私はひとり いつもひとり ずっとひとりで
歩いて行くのかな とても苦しいのに
どうして私はここにいるの baby
どうして私は生きているの…ツライ
※ねぇ 誰か助けて
ねぇ どうしたらいいの
もうわからないよ私が生まれたその意味を
ねぇ 私に気付いて
ねぇ この世界で一人だけでいい
ただあなただけ
期待はずれの人生 理想とはほど遠い
私の行く道 その行方未知 ひとり歩けない
大人になったの 怖くなるの 泣きたくもなるよ
すべてわかってるの だからこんなにも虚しいのだけど
会いたい人にはきっと会えない ひとつになれない
この思いもあなたに届かない ああ
Repeat ※
この悲しいMy life
何求め 何期待したらいいの
私はここだよ
ひとり CRY
なぜ悲しみがあるの
なぜ喜びを求めるの
なぜ不安になるの
ねぇなぜ生きてるの
人は一人きりでは生きてはいけないんだ
だから私をお願いだからひとりにしないで
ねぇどうか私を必要としてよ 私を愛してよ
この涙が乾くころにはきっと朝がまたくるから
私は生きてるよ
生きてるよ…
I never paid attention to this song. The melody was pretty, the MV was pretty, but nothing really stood out so I never watched/listened properly. But then by chance I watched the MV with subtitles of the translation and it really moved me. It was so powerful and overflowing with emotion, of pain, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness. Her vocals were great and bought out the meaning to the extent that almost broke my heart. When she sang "私はここだよ ひとり CRY" it was so powerful yet delicate that it brought shivers down my back. Miliyah has once again proved it impossible for me (or anyone) not to love her.
誰も気付かない 誰も気にしない 誰もいない
From these lyrics I can picture it in my mind, she is standing in the middle of a busy street, the rain is pouring down, there are lots of people but they are just shadows passing by, no one notices her even though she is screaming at the top of her lungs, 私はここだよ!! This kind of loneliness and helplessness, I am sure
a lot of people can relate to, at least to me anyway.
期待はずれの人生 理想とはほど遠い
The name of the song is 20-CRY- so I assume it is Miliyah's take on what it feels like being 20 years old. 20 is a delicate age, you are legally an adult, but you don't feel like one, you are not a child anymore yet you are not an adult. You expected a lot more when you were younger but when you get there the reality is far from what you expected. You are not prepared and you are scared, of the expectations from others, the responsibilities placed upon you, the uncertainties of the future. You feel helpless and you start to question the meaning of your existence. But you have to keep walking (because society requires you to) but you can't see what's ahead or if there is anything ahead for you. Disappointment, fear, helplessness, pain.
もうわからないよ私が生まれたその意味を
Despite all that, it is still okay if you have found love. But if you haven't, then you really would doubt why you are here in this world. This song speaks out for those who have never loved, or have loved but never been loved back, for those who are still searching for the one.
この世界で一人だけでいい ただあなただけ
It's really not that much to ask, I just want one person, ONE. Just one person to notice me, to care about me, to hold me, to love me. Just one person, just YOU (whom I might not have met yet, who is destined to be the one and only for me). Does that person even exist?
ねぇどうか私を必要としてよ 私を愛してよ
Yes, people cannot live alone. Life is empty without love because the heart is empty. From her vocals and words, I can really feel her pleading for love, the need to be needed, for someone to stop in that busy street and look at her, wipe away her tears, make her feel alive...
私は生きてるよ
作詩：Miliyah 作曲：Miliyah
人混みの中ひとりきり「寂しい」と呟く
誰も気付かない 誰も気にしない 誰もいない
私はひとり いつもひとり ずっとひとりで
歩いて行くのかな とても苦しいのに
どうして私はここにいるの baby
どうして私は生きているの…ツライ
※ねぇ 誰か助けて
ねぇ どうしたらいいの
もうわからないよ私が生まれたその意味を
ねぇ 私に気付いて
ねぇ この世界で一人だけでいい
ただあなただけ
期待はずれの人生 理想とはほど遠い
私の行く道 その行方未知 ひとり歩けない
大人になったの 怖くなるの 泣きたくもなるよ
すべてわかってるの だからこんなにも虚しいのだけど
会いたい人にはきっと会えない ひとつになれない
この思いもあなたに届かない ああ
Repeat ※
この悲しいMy life
何求め 何期待したらいいの
私はここだよ
ひとり CRY
なぜ悲しみがあるの
なぜ喜びを求めるの
なぜ不安になるの
ねぇなぜ生きてるの
人は一人きりでは生きてはいけないんだ
だから私をお願いだからひとりにしないで
ねぇどうか私を必要としてよ 私を愛してよ
この涙が乾くころにはきっと朝がまたくるから
私は生きてるよ
生きてるよ…
I never paid attention to this song. The melody was pretty, the MV was pretty, but nothing really stood out so I never watched/listened properly. But then by chance I watched the MV with subtitles of the translation and it really moved me. It was so powerful and overflowing with emotion, of pain, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness. Her vocals were great and bought out the meaning to the extent that almost broke my heart. When she sang "私はここだよ ひとり CRY" it was so powerful yet delicate that it brought shivers down my back. Miliyah has once again proved it impossible for me (or anyone) not to love her.
誰も気付かない 誰も気にしない 誰もいない
From these lyrics I can picture it in my mind, she is standing in the middle of a busy street, the rain is pouring down, there are lots of people but they are just shadows passing by, no one notices her even though she is screaming at the top of her lungs, 私はここだよ!! This kind of loneliness and helplessness, I am sure
a lot of people can relate to, at least to me anyway.
期待はずれの人生 理想とはほど遠い
The name of the song is 20-CRY- so I assume it is Miliyah's take on what it feels like being 20 years old. 20 is a delicate age, you are legally an adult, but you don't feel like one, you are not a child anymore yet you are not an adult. You expected a lot more when you were younger but when you get there the reality is far from what you expected. You are not prepared and you are scared, of the expectations from others, the responsibilities placed upon you, the uncertainties of the future. You feel helpless and you start to question the meaning of your existence. But you have to keep walking (because society requires you to) but you can't see what's ahead or if there is anything ahead for you. Disappointment, fear, helplessness, pain.
もうわからないよ私が生まれたその意味を
Despite all that, it is still okay if you have found love. But if you haven't, then you really would doubt why you are here in this world. This song speaks out for those who have never loved, or have loved but never been loved back, for those who are still searching for the one.
この世界で一人だけでいい ただあなただけ
It's really not that much to ask, I just want one person, ONE. Just one person to notice me, to care about me, to hold me, to love me. Just one person, just YOU (whom I might not have met yet, who is destined to be the one and only for me). Does that person even exist?
ねぇどうか私を必要としてよ 私を愛してよ
Yes, people cannot live alone. Life is empty without love because the heart is empty. From her vocals and words, I can really feel her pleading for love, the need to be needed, for someone to stop in that busy street and look at her, wipe away her tears, make her feel alive...
私は生きてるよ
Monday, 22 March 2010
Playlist: 卒業 / Sotsugyou / Graduation
卒業 / Sotsugyou / Graduation
1. Angela Aki - Tegami ~Haikei Jyugo no Kimi he~Sotsugyou
2. Remioromen - 3月9日
3. SPEED – My Graduation
4. 長渕剛 - 卒業
5. 尾崎豊 - 卒業
6. Ikimonogakari - Sotsugyou Shashin
7. GLAY - 卒業まで、あと少し
8. Moriyama Naotarou - 桜
9. BRIGHT - Promise You ~Sotsugyou~
10. Nishino Kana – Best Friend
11. ZONE - 卒業
12. AKB48 – Sakura no Hanabiratachi
13. CHARCOAL FILTER - Sotsugyou ~ OKURUKOTO Version
14. SPEED – April
15. RAPPASIDENT - 卒業～また、逢える日まで～
16. 菅原紗由理 - 君がいるから
17. Morning Musume - Sotsugyou Rouko ~Morning Musume Tabitasu Hito ni Okuru Uta~
18. Kawashima Ai - 12个の季节～4度目の春～
19. FLOW - Okuru Kotoba
20. Aya Ueto - Okuru Kotoba
21. AKB48 – Sakura no Shiori
Finally had time to do this, I didn't want to miss it like I missed the Christmas playlist. A 'Sakura' themed playlist will (hopefully) follow shortly =), there are also a couple of lyrics I want to post too.
1. Angela Aki - Tegami ~Haikei Jyugo no Kimi he~Sotsugyou
2. Remioromen - 3月9日
3. SPEED – My Graduation
4. 長渕剛 - 卒業
5. 尾崎豊 - 卒業
6. Ikimonogakari - Sotsugyou Shashin
7. GLAY - 卒業まで、あと少し
8. Moriyama Naotarou - 桜
9. BRIGHT - Promise You ~Sotsugyou~
10. Nishino Kana – Best Friend
11. ZONE - 卒業
12. AKB48 – Sakura no Hanabiratachi
13. CHARCOAL FILTER - Sotsugyou ~ OKURUKOTO Version
14. SPEED – April
15. RAPPASIDENT - 卒業～また、逢える日まで～
16. 菅原紗由理 - 君がいるから
17. Morning Musume - Sotsugyou Rouko ~Morning Musume Tabitasu Hito ni Okuru Uta~
18. Kawashima Ai - 12个の季节～4度目の春～
19. FLOW - Okuru Kotoba
20. Aya Ueto - Okuru Kotoba
21. AKB48 – Sakura no Shiori
Finally had time to do this, I didn't want to miss it like I missed the Christmas playlist. A 'Sakura' themed playlist will (hopefully) follow shortly =), there are also a couple of lyrics I want to post too.
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