Way Back to You

I came up with a conclusion the other day, that no matter what, I have to succeed, I have to become successful. If there is no way that we could be together again, if I had chosen this path and gave up 'us' in the process, then if I didn't become successful in the end, it would be a massive waste, all the pain and suffering would have been meaningless, and I would have lost both in terms of 'love' and 'career'. On the other hand, if there is ever the slight chance we would be together again (though I think the chances are slim), we can't unless I become successful, because it would look like that I was only running back to him because all my plans didn't work out, it would seem like he was a back-up plan, second choice. I don't think I can convince him, or anyone who knows us, or myself even, that I want this bad enough unless I have actually acheived something here but gave it all up just to get back together with him.